Thanksgiving

I am reading Mitch Albom's new book "Have a Little Faith". In one of the chapters, he asked the rabbi the secret to happiness. The rabbi said "To be happy is to be grateful."

There is a Tanzanian woman who runs a fascinating African antique store in the most wealthy neighborhood here. One time I ran into her on the street after I finished the volunteer work in Tanzania. I was really excited to see her and told her about the agricultural training program I created in the rural area. But I was shocked when she said to me with anger, "I can't believe my government lets anyone go to my country and do whatever they want." I was stunned and baffled. Then I realized how lucky I was that the farmers I worked with opened their hearts to receive me. I always knew that I was blessed to have something to give but I never put much thought about being given the permission and opportunity to give was another blessing. The people I came across while working on the project opened my eyes through their suffering, kindness, dedication and greed. I am grateful for the experience they gave me and for giving me one of their good sons - Moses whom I lost to a car accident at the end of the training program.


This Thanksgiving, I am grateful for the capacity to give and to love. For that is the source of happiness.

Making Choices in Life

Many of us are pack rats in our own lives – wanting to have everything and having a hard time making choices.

I gave up a good-paying job a few years ago to focus on volunteer work in developing countries. When I shared my stories, I sometimes got comments like “Oh, I wish I were as lucky as you.” , or “Oh, I wish I could afford the same kind of choice you made.” I found it ironic because most of the times the comments were from people who owned nice homes and had great jobs. I had no doubt that they could “afford” the same choice I made. They just had a hard time making that choice.

I often think of life as anything we can hold in or embrace with 2 arms. There is a limit to how much you could hold. If you want something that is not already in your arms, sometimes you would have to first give up something you have in order to make room for the new thing. Sometimes the things in our embrace are so full and piled up in front of us that all we could see was what other people next to us have in their arms. And we forget how good the things we already have in our arms.

So maybe life is like an on-going barter process. We drop something old with one arm and grab on something new with another arm. After a while something new becomes something old and non-fitting. Don’t be afraid to trade up or trade down. You gain some and you lose some. Sometimes we make good choices. Sometimes we make bad choices. But we know that there will always be more opportunities for more barters in life. Enjoy the moment while it is in your arm.

Change Perspective Change Outcome

I was on a panel yesterday. At the end of the discussion I was asked to give one final advice to people who are going through career transition.

"Focus on what you have, not what you don’t have. Focus on what you can, not what you can't!" I said.

There was a company that wanted to find out why they had more men in management position than women and why men were more likely to apply for open positions in the company than women. The findings were interesting. The survey showed that men felt that they were qualified to apply if they met 60% of the requirements whereas women felt that they were qualified only if they had met something like 80 % of the requirements.

You see, one group of people were focusing on what they had. That gave them a lot of confidence to apply for the job. On the other hand, the other group, or the women, were concerend about what they didn't have so they would not apply unless they had about 80% of the qualifications.

A shift in perspective can change the outcome. When you change how you look at things, the things you look at change. Many years ago I worked for a personal care company. I managed 3 product categories. I was baffled why the company had always put most of the marketing dollars into just one category leaving the other 2 categories with little marketing budget. So I took a look at the 2 "orphan" categories. I noticed that although the overall markets for these 2 products are smaller than the "favorite" category, they were growing much faster and growing steadily. We had a product that had stayed #2 in the market for over 10 years. I was curious why it had been #2 for so long without ever making it to #1 position. I did a little research and got a pleasant surprise. Our product had everything that consumers were looking for in this type of product but the company never realized the strengths of the product and never positioned itself as the brand leader. I convinced the management to change the marketing strategy. In less than 12 months, the brand became #1 in the market.

"Believe in yourself so that other people can start believing in you!" I said to the audience.

What is one assumption you have about your life that you could challenge to open new possibilities?

If you believe in what you want to do, you will make it happen.

You Are Fired!

Have you ever fired a friend? I have! Well, just once.

I read a book about Chinese philosophy a few days ago. There was a chapter talking about Lao Tzu and other Chinese philosophers' opinions on the related subject. Surprisingly I was not alone. One of the Chinese philosophers said that you should walk away from friends that are not right for you so that you can find others who are compatible. Lao Tzu suggested that we give up the teaching of the sages so that we can find our own truth and learnings.

Are there "dangerous" people in your life?

"They are not the ones who hit you with clubs and rob you with guns!
He simply says that 'It can't be done!'
When pointed to thousands who have already succeeded,
he smiles and says
'Oh, they're superior personality-wise and ability too!'
So you're robbed of your dreams and your hopes to succeed;
Robbed of your faith that says 'I Can!'
What taken by burglars can be gotten again
But who can replace your will to win?"

Dream Big. Celebrate Small.

Do you often feel like you are not achieving your goals and frustrated by status quo? Is a dream just a dream and not really attainable?

Some people don't know what to do with their life. They feel like they are floating around endlessly without direction. Know that you are blessed if you have a dream. So I say "Dream all you want. Dream big!"

Have you ever celebrated little progresses you made along the way to achieve your dream or are you just holding off and holding off until the big day?

If finding your dream job is your goal, then congratulate yourself when you start checking out the jobs online because you just stopped the inertia and took the first step. Give yourself a big pat on the back when finish your resume because you know you have taken another big step. Looking for a life partner? Celebrate when you take the step to go to a networking event or put up a profile page on the online dating site. Create a check list of all the steps you need to take to accomplish your goal and check them off each time you take the next step. A big check mark! Get excited about progress that you are making. End goal shouldn't be the only thing we celebrate. Rally the little but strenuous steps that you took to get closer to your dream.

Dream big and celebrate small so you will continue to keep your sight on the goal and maintain your enthusiasm. Try it!