What Does it Take to Give?

A few years ago, I worked as a volunteer with the farmers in the mountains of rural Tanzania. The following year I began raising money in Mexico to expand accredited midwifery education in Chiapas - in an effort to improve healthcare and job opportunities for the young women from the indigenous and underserved communities. Around this time I started getting questions from people here about why I was interested in helping others.

I used to think this was a strange question.

“It’s only human nature to want to help. You might not have gone to developing world for volunteer work but I am sure you have helped some homeless or the poor in the City.” I replied.

But then I got the same question over and over again from different people until someone confronted me one day.

“No, I don’t think it’s human nature. I certainly haven’t done anything to help. How do you find the passion to help?”

The guy was brutally honest and not afraid to challenge me to help him understand why. That’s when I began to realize that perhaps the question might not be as strange as I thought it was and perhaps the willingness to help is not as natural as I thought it was. He finally got me curious about it.

People tend to think that sympathy is what it takes to be giving. What people often forget is empathy. Sympathy without empathy is pity. It is thinking that those in need are different from you and focusing on what they lack. It can get very exhausting quickly if you feel that you are just giving all the time and all you see is what they are lacking and their never-ending need for help. Empathy helps us to identify with others and their dreams. I am not sure if I ever saw my volunteer work as giving. Rather, I was building something promising. I didn’t dwell on their suffering. I was more passionate about their potential to have a better future. It is far more rewarding and uplifting when we can help others succeed instead of just helping them survive. I think that’s what gave me energy to continue to be involved in these projects.

Once I heard a story by Wayne Dyer about a conversation between a poor woman and a traveler. The woman lived in poverty but was given a precious gem by the higher power after good deeds and prayer. It was a gem of abundance that could give the woman anything she asked for.

One day a traveler saw the woman resting under a tree. He asked for some food. The woman said “Sure.” and then took out some bread from a bag where she kept the gem.
“What else do you need?” the woman asked the man. The man said, “Can you give me the most precious thing you have?” Without a thought, the woman pulled out the gem from the bag and gave it to the traveler.

A few hours later, the traveler came back and returned the gem. “I want to give you back your gem because what I really want is to learn how you can give away the most precious thing you have.”

Sometimes it is not what we receive that makes us happy, but what we give. I realize now how precious it is to have the desire to help. In so many ways, I feel incredibly blessed to have the opportunity and the capacity to serve. It’s very humbling. I never expected anything in return but I ended up with so much learning and growth beyond my imagination. The international development experience has been the best leadership and life training I have ever had. I can’t tell you how grateful I am that the people there allowed me to be part of their future. They gave me the opportunity to feel helpful and to grow as a person. They gave me the gift of a lifetime.

Although Africa is the poorest continent in the world, it has also received an enormous amount of international aid. Instead, I would like to take this opportunity to call your attention to the catastrophe in Pakistan where over 8 million people have been affected by the recent floods. They have received underwhelming international support. In fact, Americans gave 40 times more for Haiti earthquake than for the disaster in Pakistan (Read more http://www.cdapress.com/news/national_news/article_93b201a4-1390-5643-926f-c397ec231b17.html). Please consider making a donation to an organization of your choice to help the country under water. Let’s cultivate friendship instead of war, create hope instead of hatred. We can all make a different in whatever small way we are able.