The Answer Is in the Question!

Many of us go through life looking for answers that will lead us to fulfillment in life or to career success. Very often the answers seem so hard to obtain. So we spend most of our time asking the same questions over and over again, searching and waiting for the right answers.

Has it ever occurred to you that you might be asking the wrong question?
Someone once asked me, "I have a good job at a great company but my dream is to have my own start-up company. It is hard to take the risk because I have a family to support. What should I do?"

"What I am hearing is that you have been asking yourself the question, 'What would happen to my family's finances if I quit my job?'". I pointed out that the question kept him focused on his problem. I suggested that he asked himself a different question,

"How do I start a business while maintaining financial stability for my family?"

This question opens up creativity and imagination and encourages the seeker to look for options to overcome his challenges while pursuing his goal. It fosters ideas such as the possibility of working on developing his business at night while he is still at the current job, or of reinvesting his stock option to generate an extra income stream as a safety net.

Many years ago, I worked for a U.S. personal care company in Asia. One of the products I managed was a line of tampons. The product category only had 1% usage rate because it was considered very intrusive in a conservative culture.
One year we ran multiple focus groups. I was sitting in the observatory room, eavesdropping on the consumers, when I heard some very unusual comments about the product. I had an "ah ha" moment and subsequently wrote a new marketing plan to shift the focus from brand advertising to educational and PR campaigns.
A few months later I was asked to drop by the sales meeting and share the new marketing strategy with the sales team. With the new strategy, I explained, product sales could grow by more than 30% during the peak season. The reception was cold.

Five minutes later, as I was waiting in the lobby for the elevator, a saleswoman who was in the meeting came up to me and told me what happened in the conference room after I left. The sales director said to the sales team,
"I have never seen any growth in our tampon sales in the 20 years since I joined the company. The marketing team had tried different campaigns to improve the revenues but all resulted in little change. How could a 30% growth be possible!?" He smirked. The whole room broke into laughter, according to my colleague's account. I remembered feeling a chill running through my body when I realized that I had become a laughing stock in the company. I was mortified

I gathered just enough strength to get back to my office. I called the production manager. The sales team was very powerful in the company at the time. Without their buy-in, I would not have the authority to change the sales forecast numbers that the production department would use to increase their production of the product. I told him about the challenge.

"What can be done to avert the product shortage? What is possible?" I asked. The product had to be imported so if the sales exceeded the previous forecast, the shortage could go on for months.

"Well, are you certain about your growth projection?" The production manager asked me.

I told him that this strategy had never been tried before but the research indicated a strong consumer fear which the new strategy was designed to overcome. There was no past event that I could use as a reference. However, if this were the right strategy, I was confident that we could generate 30% growth based on historical store data for similar products.

"As you know, I cannot increase the order size because the sales projection has not been bumped up. Hmmm.... Let me think about what I can do." He said, weighing the requirement to comply with the sales forecast already in our system and the potential of a product shortage. In the end, he came up with a great idea to hedge his risks. He decided to order from our European plant the same quantities as the original forecast but a few weeks earlier than usual. If sales picked up, he would request air shipments. If the sales remained flat, we would ship the order by sea.
Soon after the new marketing strategy was implemented, the tampon sales started to increase. The educational materials we created were flying off the shelf so quickly that I had to order more after just 2 weeks. The production manager, who was watching the sales activities closely, requested air shipments so we did not lose sales momentum. We were easily able to achieve the projected sales growth.

You see, by asking different questions, they triggered different responses and results.

"How could this be possible?" casts doubt and focuses on concerns.

"What is possible?" encourages brainstorming new ideas to achieve the goal.

Are you ready to challenge yourself or do you want to remain hindered by the obstacles you believe you face? Instead of asking yourself why you never have time for things that matter to you, ask yourself how you can make time for things that matter to you.

If you are feeling stuck and unable to make progress toward your goals, try asking a new question that encourages you to overcome the obstacles and points you at a new direction that you haven't looked at before.

So what is the question you have yet to ask yourself?

You Have the Watch but I Have Time

This year I started giving motivational speeches. The speech was about having the courage to stand up for your dream. I drew parallels to my experience in Africa. It brought back a lot of memories so I decided to dig up a video clip of my interview with an American Catholic missionary in Tanzania. Father Joseph has lived in Africa for over 30 years and has amazing insight about African culture, proverbs and philosophy. During the interview, he made reference to a saying in Tanzania that “The Westerners have the watch but Africans have time.“ I thought that is a great way to introduce this article.

Do you have the watch but no time? Do you have presence but no life? Many of us are pack rats in our lives – wanting to have everything and having a hard time making choices about what is important and what should be ‘dropped’.

What would it be like if we could choose to be happy?

I quit a good-paying job a few years ago to focus on volunteer work in developing countries. When I shared my stories, I sometimes got comments like “Oh, I wish I were as lucky as you.”, or “Oh, I wish I could afford the same kind of choice you made.” I found it ironic because most of the time the comments were from people who owned nice homes and had great jobs. I had no doubt that they could “afford” the same choice I made. They just had a hard time making that choice.

I often think of a life as filled with anything we can hold or embrace with our arms. There is a limit to how much we can hold. If you want something that is not already in your arms, sometimes you have to first give up something you have in order to have capacity for the new thing. In coaching, I see how clients let go of fear so they can make room for courage. They let go of present to welcome the future.

Sometimes the things in our embrace are so full and piled up in front of us that all we can see is what other people next to us have in their arms. And we forget how good the things we already have in our arms are.

So maybe life is like an on-going barter process. We drop something old with one arm and grab on something new with another arm. After a while something new becomes something old and no longer fits. Make your barter decisions based on your future, not where you are now.

Don’t be afraid to trade up or trade down. You gain some and you lose some. Sometimes we make good choices. Sometimes we make bad choices. But we know that there will always be more opportunities for further bartering in life. Relish the moment while it is in your arms as the wise man said, “Being successful is having what you want. Being happy is wanting what you have.”

Oops... I Forgot to be Afraid

The spring is here! I will be kicking off my “speaking tour” for the year and will begin by delivering motivational speeches at Google, Visa and Rotary Club this month.

I first decided on giving motivational speeches about two years ago after I spoke at a travel club. I talked about my book and the experience of creating an agricultural training program in Tanzania. A young woman came up to me afterwards and wanted some advice.

“I want to do the kind of volunteer work that you did!”
She said enthusiastically at first. Then there was a pause. She looked like she was concerned.

“I am not sure how to do it. What if I failed?” She asked.

My first reaction was confusion. I didn’t understand her fear. It was not as if she would be evaluated for her work and given a performance review as you would at work. Then it hit me that I had never thought about failure before or during my project in Tanzania. For a few seconds, there was panic inside of me …”Had I made a huge mistake of not considering some very important factor?”

I took a deep breath and realized that my ignorance of failure allowed me to be undistracted in achieving my goals. I was so concentrated on making my project possible, I failed to focus on failure! I forgot to be afraid! All I could think about when I was in Tanzania was how to overcome challenges so I could bring the training to the people who really needed it. I was thinking about “How”, not “What if”.
If you are on a tight rope over a gorge, you would have a better chance in getting to the other side of the water if you look straight ahead at where you want to get to, rather than if you look down at the water miles below you.

Someone once said “The answer to ‘How’ is ‘Yes’”.

This is probably how babies learn to walk. They fall, they cry and then they forget about it and try to walk again. They were looking at that toy sitting on the coffee table or curious about the remote control lying on the sofa. The objects are darn interesting and so irresistible that the babies are determined to walk in order to get their hand on the enticing objects!

Enroll yourself in your dream. Make it scream at you so that you will get up, move towards it and forget about all the obstacles that may come between you and your goal.

Through the motivational speeches, I hope I can help people reconnect with their dreams and have the courage to pursue their goals. I can’t wait!

Do What You Love. Love What You Do

I once asked a friend who has a succesful career about his secrets to career advancement. The first thing he said was "Love what you do." It may sound like cliche but he could not be more right.

Think back at a time when you were doing something you were passionate about. Did you notice how it brought out the best in you? You became creative and resourceful, and were determined to finish it or move towards your goal.

Steve Jobs talked about the time he was fired by Apple at a Stanford commencement -

"Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle."

What are 3 things that you love about your job, your marriage or whatever is important to you? If you can't name them, what are the 3 things you would look for in the next job, marriage etc? What can you do in the new year that you haven't already done to bring the 3 elements into your life?

Mark Twain said "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed in the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore....Dream....Discover."

To a brave and passionate new year!

Thanksgiving

I am reading Mitch Albom's new book "Have a Little Faith". In one of the chapters, he asked the rabbi the secret to happiness. The rabbi said "To be happy is to be grateful."

There is a Tanzanian woman who runs a fascinating African antique store in the most wealthy neighborhood here. One time I ran into her on the street after I finished the volunteer work in Tanzania. I was really excited to see her and told her about the agricultural training program I created in the rural area. But I was shocked when she said to me with anger, "I can't believe my government lets anyone go to my country and do whatever they want." I was stunned and baffled. Then I realized how lucky I was that the farmers I worked with opened their hearts to receive me. I always knew that I was blessed to have something to give but I never put much thought about being given the permission and opportunity to give was another blessing. The people I came across while working on the project opened my eyes through their suffering, kindness, dedication and greed. I am grateful for the experience they gave me and for giving me one of their good sons - Moses whom I lost to a car accident at the end of the training program.


This Thanksgiving, I am grateful for the capacity to give and to love. For that is the source of happiness.

Making Choices in Life

Many of us are pack rats in our own lives – wanting to have everything and having a hard time making choices.

I gave up a good-paying job a few years ago to focus on volunteer work in developing countries. When I shared my stories, I sometimes got comments like “Oh, I wish I were as lucky as you.” , or “Oh, I wish I could afford the same kind of choice you made.” I found it ironic because most of the times the comments were from people who owned nice homes and had great jobs. I had no doubt that they could “afford” the same choice I made. They just had a hard time making that choice.

I often think of life as anything we can hold in or embrace with 2 arms. There is a limit to how much you could hold. If you want something that is not already in your arms, sometimes you would have to first give up something you have in order to make room for the new thing. Sometimes the things in our embrace are so full and piled up in front of us that all we could see was what other people next to us have in their arms. And we forget how good the things we already have in our arms.

So maybe life is like an on-going barter process. We drop something old with one arm and grab on something new with another arm. After a while something new becomes something old and non-fitting. Don’t be afraid to trade up or trade down. You gain some and you lose some. Sometimes we make good choices. Sometimes we make bad choices. But we know that there will always be more opportunities for more barters in life. Enjoy the moment while it is in your arm.

Change Perspective Change Outcome

I was on a panel yesterday. At the end of the discussion I was asked to give one final advice to people who are going through career transition.

"Focus on what you have, not what you don’t have. Focus on what you can, not what you can't!" I said.

There was a company that wanted to find out why they had more men in management position than women and why men were more likely to apply for open positions in the company than women. The findings were interesting. The survey showed that men felt that they were qualified to apply if they met 60% of the requirements whereas women felt that they were qualified only if they had met something like 80 % of the requirements.

You see, one group of people were focusing on what they had. That gave them a lot of confidence to apply for the job. On the other hand, the other group, or the women, were concerend about what they didn't have so they would not apply unless they had about 80% of the qualifications.

A shift in perspective can change the outcome. When you change how you look at things, the things you look at change. Many years ago I worked for a personal care company. I managed 3 product categories. I was baffled why the company had always put most of the marketing dollars into just one category leaving the other 2 categories with little marketing budget. So I took a look at the 2 "orphan" categories. I noticed that although the overall markets for these 2 products are smaller than the "favorite" category, they were growing much faster and growing steadily. We had a product that had stayed #2 in the market for over 10 years. I was curious why it had been #2 for so long without ever making it to #1 position. I did a little research and got a pleasant surprise. Our product had everything that consumers were looking for in this type of product but the company never realized the strengths of the product and never positioned itself as the brand leader. I convinced the management to change the marketing strategy. In less than 12 months, the brand became #1 in the market.

"Believe in yourself so that other people can start believing in you!" I said to the audience.

What is one assumption you have about your life that you could challenge to open new possibilities?

If you believe in what you want to do, you will make it happen.